Valentine's Day 2010

I'd like to recount the events of February 14, 2010.

I used to work at the South's Finest Chocolate Factory. And yes, it is the south's finest chocolate, made at this factory where I used to work. Valentine's Day is their biggest single day of profits all year. What do you get your sweetheart on Valentine's Day except a heart shaped box full of assorted chocolates? That, or Strawberries in the Snow also known as strawberries hand-dipped in white chocolate by yours truly. I wanted to make t-shirts that say "I'm a dipper." Like I'm a pepper, only dipper. Maybe I'll teach myself how to silk screen like Seth did. More on that later. So I haven't gone back to work at the factory but I was a guest dipper as it is that time of year when everyone gathers in Knoxville to enjoy friends, food, and frenzy. Strawberry frenzy. It was a blast hanging out with everyone and surprise! Little Jane and Andrew^ show up as they were road tripping it through the South.

So she comes and it's like the whole gang is back for V-day ventures. It was a little slow. Economic downturn, you know. That and V-day was a Sunday. Not a big going out kinda night. But Christabel and the Jons were playing and so it becomes a whole family affair. The aforementioned Seth is one of the Jons and lil bro to Lil Hil, chocolatier. And Cindy, visiting chocolatier like Little Jane and myself, is mother to the two and friend to all. So it's an event. For the occasion, I wore all black save my indige red bead necklace. And I put my eyes on. We finally make it to Barley's where the gig is held and it's a lovely blast. We were all spotted on the news^ toasting champagne at the factory.

At the bar, it was a good ole Christabel and the Jons time. Now Christabel and the Jons is a group I know and love. I listened to her back when she was just Christa Decicco with dreads selling postcards out of old luggage. I listened to her back when the Jons were actually two guys named Jon. (They have since been through various Jons. One is original, one is now Seth, and they can't seem to hang on to another which is sometimes a lady Jon.) I even have the original version of their first album where one of the tracks is titled Thakful instead of Thankful. But despite all this and being friends with friends, we just never seemed to chat it up. So it was funny to me when somehow (probably due to my unique soberness), she reintroduced herself to me and asked me to be the impromptu merchandise girl. Perhaps out of all the people hanging out close to the table, I just seemed the most responsible so people naturally came to me about making purchases. One can never tell.

So, merch girl it was. Seth had googled silk screening and made some cool merch which pissed his sis (Lil Hil remember) off royally seeing as how she spent boocoos of money taking a university class and came away with well, not much, and here he was selling it and earning back the cost of the materials. Amongst the onesies and handkerchiefs he had made were white, ladies', cotton, bikini briefs which I tried to hock to his father as "Christabel and the Jons intimate apparel for your wife on Valentine's Day" to which Seth replied, "That's my MOM!" as he ripped the undies from his parents' hands. Hey man, it's his merchandise, I was just trying to make a sell.

And now we've come to the point of the story. (Well, the real story actually. I had to preface with why I was in Knoxville on Valentine's Day and how I came to be the merch girl for Christabel and the Jons.)

While manning my post, drunk guy #1 starts ogling the cds. Being courteous and an excellent salesperson^, I tried my best to interest him...in the merchandise, of course. But then he turns into talky drunk guy #1. So I have to humor him and try to be nice with arms crossed and negative body language, of course. Unfortunately, as I had mentioned earlier, I had put on my eyes that night. So Mr. TDG#1, introduces himself and compliments my eyes, etc. He even compliments the band. Which he knows a good band when he hears one cause he used to play drums for a band called Nirvana. No, it wasn't Dave Grohl. Maybe he just mentioned playing drums for Kurt Cobain, who was in a band called Nirvana. Anyway, that bitch killed him. Drove him to it. And Mr. TDG#1 had to live through the pain while Kurt got to off himself. Oh, and did I mention TDG#1 was heartbroken over some girl who dumped him? "On Valentine's Day!?", I queried, still trying to play nice. No it was a couple months ago but he was thinking of doing this...*whish whish*...Switchblade.

Um...so I get that pocketknives are allowed in places that guns perhaps are not, but talking a guy down from the ledge in the middle of a crowded bar was not really what I expected from a fun-filled V-day weekend. He was even making horizontal sawing motions just above his wrists. I really wasn't able to properly assess the situation seeing as how I was hocking merchandise in the middle of a crowded bar. As best I could I told him that he shouldn't do that and that I hope our friendship would continue for a very long time. As in, please don't off yourself. I don't know whatever came of this guy. I don't even remember his name but I sincerely hope he's still out there somewhere.

*WhaWha* Kind of a downer I know but I did have a fabulous time. I danced with Scottie, had a sleepover with Bilary (aka Hen aka Ben and Hilary) AND Lexi and Sarah, and overall had an enjoyable weekend. But definitely this was a Valentine's Day for the history books.

^Tangent on Little Jane and Andrew
She is a chocolatier (and Yankee) from before my time who came to the University of Tennessee after falling in love with Brad Renfro (as did I) probably following the release of Tom and Huck. Anyway, with his being from the Knoxville area, and she wanting to save his soul, she decided on UT as the college of her choice and he, unfortunately, died of an overdose. I don't know that she ever ended up running in to him, but she did end up running into the Chocolate Factory which is a pretty darn good crowd to run into. I first met Jane four or five years ago at another V-day reunion. She loved coming down and working V-day for the fun of it. I had never met the girl but we ended up splitting a case of champagne with a few other girls, almost getting kicked out of a restaurant (I don't recall that part, just the popping of cork into the street while we were waiting forever for a table since we hadn't made reservations at a popular V-day steak venue. It was BYOBottle with a cork fee. We had several bottles. I don't think we were charged for the bottle we corked on the porch though.), and she ended up crashing on my floor since the beds were occupied with other girls that had more delicate constitutions, myself included. My last actual memory of her was sending her off in cab in the early morning hours since she had to make it back to Rhode Island to rejoin her boyfriend, Andrew.

^News (and TB and Champagne) Tangent
You know those feel-good, cheesy stories on the news? They eat the chocolate factory for breakfast. And V-day? Please. They came by with their cameras and interview the manager and film Lil Bill working and then catch us in a candid moment. For a split second I was seen guzzling down the bubbly which I felt just a bit later since I tested positive for Consumption and am on meds that don't allow for alcohol so one drink and I'm golden. Alas, April cannot come soon enough. At least they didn't catch on film the manager's toast. While I prefer the dishtowel over the cork method of popping, some find it fun to shoot it across the factory floor and spend the rest of the year playing "Find the V-day cork!" His toast went something like this, "I'm gonna aim the cork at ya'll and whoever it hits gets laid." It was more elegantly put but that was the gist. Well, it was a dud, popped about a foot straight up and hit him on the head. We busted out laughing as he went to go call his sweetie in private. I guess you had to be there.

^Sales Tangent
I used to get people to buy more chocolate if the total rang up $6.66. "Oh *frown*, are you sure you don't want to buy another piece *grimace*?" Worked every time.