MOMENTS AGO...
Me: I’m making a costume. Did Paw-Paw have any
welding goggles?
Mom: What kind of goggles?
Me: Welding.
Mom: What kind?
Me: WELDING.
Mom: Lower your voice and say it. [You know, sound wave frequencies and all that.]
Me: WELD.ING.
Mom: Walgreen’s??
Me: No. Mom, Mom listen to me. When you make
wrought iron, to put two pieces of iron together you weld them together.
Mom: You want the iron?
Me: NO! Forget the iron. To “glue” two pieces of
metal together you WELD them together.
Mom: You’re gluing metal?
Me: NO!! It’s like another word for gluing metal
together. You don’t glue metal you WELD it.
Mom: Weld? W-E-L-D? weld?
Me: Yes! You weld metal. What was the verb I
just said?
Mom: Weld.
Me: Right. And a person who welds is a welder
and they wear welding glasses, er, goggles.
Mom: Oh! You want the big mask or the—
Me: No!
Mom: --goggles?
Me: The goggles!!
Mom: Oh…no. We used to but they were probably
sold in the auction. But we can ask the welder. He’s my cousin you know. He’s
weird.
[facepalm]

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